Beyond the Game
by Ammom
Summary: About a genetically promised girl, who resides on one of the ships deployed for the bugger world almost seventy years past. Her interest in Ender's epic history, inspires her to take the role her genetics forbids; pilot; as was her initial part in the war
1. Chapter 1: Unfulfilled Role

**CHAPTER ONE**

**Unfulfilled Role**

-

* * *

_-_

_"Dreams are not reliable._

_"Statistics…_science – that _is what matters to survive. What is definite and sure, when the truth is broken down and permitted to be real. When it is genetics separating genius children from a choice of life, hopes and dreams are a mere delusional – a test of temptation that can ultimately lead to the sudden end of that intellect's purpose. What are those children left with then?_

__

"An unused brain and time spent growing up just to be given a childhood too late."

-

As the session drew to a close, Dana Pewter forced back the statement dancing on the tip of her tongue as her patient's last words drifted into the artificial air processing and cycling throughout the room by a duct resting in the upper right corner of the far wall. From where she lay in the chair, neck craned uncomfortably over one armrest, and legs over the other, Alex let her mind process and repeat her spoken thoughts carefully. The ship's psychologist seemed unsure of how to react to the girl's words, despite the six years they had spent in therapy together.

At last, Dana forced a registered, carefully worded sentence from her mouth, crossing one leg over the other as if to hide what she had typed on her desk in her lap. "How long have you been thinking this, Alexandra?"

The truth was that Alex had analyzed and modified her opinion on the matter repeatedly – ever since she had first realized at age four, that she hadn't lived up to the I.F. Command's expectations. Despite that the unpredictable change in genetics had come through a highly unlikely error, those aboard the ship still treated Alex as an outsider.

With an even tone, the girl replied after a minute, "Week or so."

Eyes darting to her psychiatrist, Alex could tell by Dana's raised eyebrows and skeptical look that she didn't believe her. _That's all right_, Alex told her secretly. _I don't need your approval to think on my own._

With a sigh that resembled contempt, Dana informed her client, "You know I can't give a _real _opinion on the subject matter. I have spent most of my life on this ship, as you have."

_No_, Alex argued quietly. _You have _seen _Earth. You have seen the genius children there, matching up against those without the blessed genes. You see me as the others do – a disappointment. Just not to the same degree._

Alex didn't see any reason worth voicing these thoughts aloud though. The rest of the session would be spent simply arguing until Alex was forced to give way into Dana's logic and thinking – the same thinking that hadn't changed in seventy years.

Sighing at this, Alex shook her head in irritation. Straightening to sit up in the chair stiffly, she noted, "That doesn't mean that we can't _have _an opinion. It isn't right that I should be treated so unjustly because of something that can't be helped."

Recognizing the truth in the girl's words, Dana felt at a loss of what to say. She had seen the way the crewmembers treated Alexandra – as if she were a mere nuisance and not a child; just a being who couldn't fulfill her promised role as pilot to the interstellar spacecraft, because her mind didn't have the quick thought process required. Mental observations and tests showed deficiencies in reaction timing.

How many years did they have before they reached the buggers' home planet? Before they were deployed into battle? These were the same worrisome thoughts plaguing the crew's mind. Though they were all carefully chosen individuals who _chose _to come onto this seventy year flight, it didn't stop fear from shifting into their thoughts now and again.

"We have been over this several times, Alexandra. You can't allow the matter to interfere with the crew, _or_ your parents' roles in this mission."

Nodding with a scoff, Alex rolled her eyes, muttering, "Yeah…I know."

The sharp tone of the alarm repeating three times alerted Dana to the watch clasped around her wrist. Entering a few digits into the laptop notebook resting on her legs, Dana let the lid close as the computer processed her notes. Pushing herself to her feet, she gestured for her patient to stand as well. Alex did as she was bid, knowing that the alert confirmed the end of the session.

Resting a hand on the girl's back in a comforting gesture that went unnoticed, Dana guided Alex towards the doublewide, mechanical doors, telling her in a gentle voice, "I know things may look grim, Alexandra, but just remember that there are people aboard who care about you."

Every psychiatrist's famous line, Alex noted quietly, casting a quick glare towards Mrs. Pewter before pausing before the doors as they opened wide. Turning towards the middle-aged woman expectantly, observing the fine brunette hairs thinning to gray at her temples, and the faint lines tracing her lips and brow, Alex looked up at the woman expectantly.

Gazing back into the girl's hazy, hazel eyes, Dana felt her heart clench tightly, and she wished she could do more for her. Dana's role aboard the spaceship was to ensure that the crew kept their wits about them, and didn't retract into deep depression. Their mission, after all, was a certain, bitter end, with no commander waiting back on Earth to give the interstellar fleet the needed directions and guidance for battle in the Third Invasion.

When Mrs. Pewter nodded towards the doors, Alex knew it was her sign to go. Without a word or gesture, she turned and stepped across the threshold and into the dim, white hallway. After the doors closed behind her, and the distant sound of Mrs. Pewter departing through another pair, the anti-gravity field turned on, and Alex floated towards the ceiling.

Hand gripping the metal bar lining the hall, Alex pulled her way towards the corner and the single door that led towards the rooms. There at least, she would find peace of mind in her desk and the access to countless digital books, documents, and articles over the net. Despite that she was on a one-way course, Alex was subdued to her studies daily. The I.F. mustn't have found a need for high security on the spacecraft's network, because Alex had discovered a couple of weeks previous, a way to hack into the system library she was receiving her articles of general studies and courses from.

With a new arsenal of information at hand, Alex had come to hope that perhaps she could learn something that could be of use to those on board. For two weeks, she had shuffled through various articles and teachings in hopes of finding something to dedicate herself to. Instead, Alex had discovered a whole world and life that existed outside her own; one that had advanced without them. If she lived, would she be useful to this new world when they returned?

Pausing as the door opened, Alex stared up into the familiar, wrinkled, round face of Catherina Cato. Spotting the straying form of her daughter, Catherina offered a pleasant smile that eased the fine lines around her eyes and mouth. For a moment, Alex recognized the young woman who had began as a promising, educated teenager in physics, on this flight from the spaceship network's visual recordings.

_More than fifty years ago_, Alex realized. _It took them forty years to have a child that could be born here…and I can't even provide what the I.F. is looking for._

If these thoughts were filtering through her mind, Catherina didn't express them. With one hand gripping the bar, she pulled herself down to Alex's level so her knees rested on the floor, and pulled her daughter into a warm embrace with her free arm. Alex allowed her mother the affectionate moment, even wrapping her own arm beneath her mother's to awkwardly pat the shoulder there.

When the moment passed, Catherina's smile had faltered some as she re-oriented herself. In a low, but caring tone, she told the attentive girl, "Be sure to complete your homework, and stay out of your father's way if he enters. He's rather stressed this morning."

Nodding in understanding of this, Alex watched her mother drift her way expertly down the hall and around the corner out of view. For a minute longer, the girl remained where she was, pondering over her mother's careful words. Father only stressed when ill news arrived from the I.F. concerning the bugger war and the children recruited into Battle School in space just outside Earth's orbit.

At times, Alex envied the young children training in Battle School. From age five or so onwards, they knew nothing but combat and tactics. Their minds had been refined into what the I.F. wanted of them. Would they have accepted her, if her parents had stayed to live on Earth?

If I had failed, then I would have been sent home, and my childhood destroyed, Alex reminded herself. Just like what I had told Mrs. Pewter in today's session.

Shaking her mind to clear it of these ill thoughts, Alex pressed her hand to the keypad beside the door, and pulled herself through over the threshold as it slid aside. Entering into the hall with single doors spreading down a good twenty yards, Alex drifted aimlessly in the open space until an overhead ding announced the shift to gravity.

Feet sinking to the smooth, straight metal floor, Alex strode down the hallway with eyes locked on the doors to the left – mouthing the count as she passed. Reaching a door with a simple engraved "thirty-one" on it, Alex stretched her arm up to press her hand on the third palm scanner, speaking her name. The door, recognizing her imprints and individual skin cells and voice, opened as the scanner light shined green.

Taking away her hand revealed the smooth black of the square once more, and Alex took one large step over the threshold and into the inclined room that served as a sort of living space. Various pieces of sitting furniture was laid out neatly around the small, square space, with locked stands resting beside each chair and couch side. The room had the same look as every other room. All of the furniture was embedded and bolted into the room's walls so it was unmovable. It gave each room in the spaceship a dreary and boring appearance.

Heading for a door resting in the right wall, Alex disappeared into the small space serving as her bedroom. There were only three things of importance that rested here: a bunk pressed against the wall, a locked stand beside it, and a wide, metal locker with a scanner resting on top. The locker had three drawers, and was built so Alex could just walk over and lay her hand atop it with ease for the scanner to recognize her.

After repeating the confirmation process, the locker drawers jutted open slightly, slamming against her knees. Ignoring the way they buckled slightly, Alex kneeled down and pulled the third locker out. Here rested her personal items – an adult sized desk that was too wide for her lap and keys too big for her small fingers, and a few tokens her parents had given her.

Pulling the desk out with some difficulty, Alex closed the bottom locker with her foot, which in turn, closed the other two. Pulling the laptop into her arms, she headed back into the living space, and picking her favorite corner opposite of her room to sit.

Opening up the desk and signing on, Alex read the warning message about her history homework being due. Pointer straying over the "Open" and "Close" buttons concerning the document, Alex decided that it could wait. Bringing up the net instead, she headed back for her studies site source. Breaking into the system had become a simple two minute task.

With access to all the articles resting within the library, and codes to libraries further out of reach, Alex picked through random documents – opening them and reading a line or two before closing them. An hour or so passed in silence. Her father came in once and disappeared into his room.

Stepping out a minute later with his own desk resting beneath his arm, Ewout paused at the doorway to peer to the left at his daughter. Clearly already in an impatient and irritated mood, he asked indignantly, "Why don't you sit in a chair? Money wasn't spent to embed them into the ship for you to rest on the floor."

Without looking up, Alex replied in a bored tone, "I get better net access over here." The statement was a blatant lie, but Ewout took it and strode out without another word.

After another ten minutes, Alex was about to put aside her exploration when an interesting article with the beginning title "WigginThird" made her pause in interest. It was in a classified folder she had dismissed, since it was just a list of Third born children who hadn't made it into the Battle School program. Though it related somewhat to her own circumstance, Alex had found it too familiar and unsettling to explore just yet.

However, she had seen the name "Wiggin" pop up briefly in other articles, and felt drawn to this one. There had been mention of three children – all considered for Battle School – but were then reconsidered as inadequate for one reason or another.

Deciding this would be the last document before returning to her homework, and then heading for rightful sleep, Alex brought it up. She watched the sentences and words stream blearily down in rows and columns for thirty seconds, and was amazed at how much information the article contained.

Reading the first opening statements, all thoughts of homework were shoved aside, as Alex let a crafty smile slip onto her young features, and intrigued words emanate from her lips; "Why, _hello_ Ender Wiggin."


	2. Chapter 2: Gaining Access

**CHAPTER TWO**

** Gaining Access**

**-**

* * *

-

"Breaking an arm – that was a master stroke."

"That was an accident.

"I thought Ender might call for help."

"Call for help? I thought that was what you valued most in him – that he settles his own problems. When he's out there surrounded by an enemy fleet, there ain't gonna be nobody to help him if he calls."

"If we've already lost him, if he can't handle this, who's next? Who else?"

"I'll make up a list."

"That would be terrible – if he believed he had a friend."

-

From reading the short passage labeled as "Graff & Anderson" recently dated, Alex assumed that it was merely a pick-and-choose report of their _real _conversation. However, Alex found the short article interesting, and reading further, discovered that despite that Ender Wiggin had had his monitor removed, he had been recruited into Battle School nonetheless.

Touching the base of her neck behind her shoulder-cropped hair, Alex wondered what it was like to have a monitor – a device that tuned careful watchers into every action and word of oneself and those in the surrounding area.

_They could even hear one piss_ – see _it at that._

Discarding these strange thoughts, Alex returned her attention to the document, and winced as she read the report about another kid getting his arm broken in what was being declared, as an "Accidental Collision". Finding this definition humorous, Alex traced the shuttle's coordinates and set route. It led directly to a floating hunk of metal that served as the Battle School. The blueprints of course, were forbidden access.

Fingers tapping the keys lightly as she pondered her next move, Alex looked up when the door opened and Ewout, followed quickly by his wife, stepped into the living space. Pausing as he strode towards her, the man peered from the side at his daughter's screen, and a flare of anger danced in his pupils.

At the sudden clearing of her father's throat, Alex raised her gaze slowly to meet his. It took several moments for Alex to register his reaction to her desktop. Closing the top of her desk, the girl opened her mouth as her mind shifted through a short list of excuses, but from the strict expression easing its way onto Ewout's face, Alex knew it a lost cause.

Before Alex could even close her mouth, Ewout's temper blew, and his gruff voice barked off the walls sharply, making Alex wince. "You're to do your studies!"

Even knowing that her father's real anger was directed towards the I.F., Alex could still feel a sob rising in her throat. Ewout seemed unaware of his daughter's distraught as he berated her in Dutch – informing her repeatedly of how important her studies were, and how he wouldn't put up with any more nonsense concerning her grades or anything to do with illegal access.

Alex's heart thumped painfully against her chest at this. So, this had more to do with her hacking the network than anything else. _Maybe that's what he's _really _angry at_, she realized.

Switching back into Common tongue, Ewout stopped in half stride, turning towards his wife, saying in a wavering, but quieter tone, "Did you know she's accessing secret files? They're threatening to turn this ship around just to detain her if she continues!"

Catherina's face remained a mask of calm, but Alex could see the gears working behind her forehead as she was processing a proper response that would ease her husband's anger. Instead, the aging woman turned a solemn expression upon her daughter, and Alex cringed into the corner space at the disappointment in her mother's soft features.

Striding past her husband in a slow, steady stride, she crouched stiffly down in front of Alex, peering intently into the girl's large eyes. In a quiet tone meant only for her, Catherina prompted seriously in pauses between words to be sure her daughter understood; "Alexandra…have you hacked into the I.F.'s central archive of private documents?"

Knowing that she was already caught, Alex could do nothing more than give a grim nod at this. Her pulse was racing. Would the I.F. _really _turn the ship around just because they hadn't bothered to strengthen their security system connected to the network the spacecraft accessed? The simple answer came back as "yes".

Giving a light, silent sigh, Catherina dropped her gaze in thought – closing her eyes to her inner conscience for guidance. At last, the woman nodded and legs beginning to shake with the effort of upholding herself, she looked to her husband, saying in a serious, quiet but firm tone, "Message the I.F. Tell them the matter will be taken care of and the hacking will _not _continue." Pausing as Ewout headed for the door, she called him back as she continued, "And tell them to update their security system if they want to prevent this matter from happening in the future from another desk."

Ewout eyed the women resting in the far corner, and without a word and a mere nod, he headed out the door. Only when the buzz alerted the anti-gravity shield dropping in the hallway beyond the living spaces sounded, did Catherina tug her attention away from their door. With a grunt, the woman used her weakening arm muscles to lower herself to the floor to sit before her daughter.

Now that Alex had openly relaxed some, Catherina's voice took on a sharp tone as she eyed the girl darkly, saying, "Now…about this network hacking…"

Tensing up again at these words, Alex shifted uncomfortably where she sat. Had she really expected the matter to drop once her father delivered the message to the International Fleet?

Seeing the expectant look her mother gave her, Alex gave a sigh before explaining slowly, "I hadn't meant to. I couldn't find much information a subject, so I went in search of new material. After a few barriers dropped, I found out I was in a non-public access area." With an exasperated look, Alex explained in a desperate tone, "I just decided to look around! I thought if I learned something…new, then I could be of some use here…"

When Alex's gaze dropped to the smooth metal cover of her laptop lying lopsidedly over her thin legs, Catherina's expression eased. The woman sighed and rubbed her haggard eyes, saying in a softer tone, "Alex, I understand that you feel ineffective residing on this ship with no real mission here, but please understand, that if we continue what you're doing, then everyone who has sacrificed the last _fifty years_ of their lives, won't be able to use what _they've_ learned." Inclining her gaze to attempt to peer into her daughter's eyes, Catherina prompted seriously, "Do you understand what that means?"

It was a minute before Alex nodded, but didn't raise her gaze. In a low tone, she mumbled, "Yeah, I know…it means it was all for nothing."

Nodding in satisfaction of this response, Catherina shimmied to rest her back against the wall beside her daughter, and slipped a hand behind Alex to rub her back in a comforting gesture. The movement went unnoticed, and Catherina withdrew her arm after a moment. The woman had learned to be patient with her daughter in the last ten years, but at times, it was difficult. Catherina found it hard to look at Alexandra and see beyond her slow registering and reaction timing. It made every conversation and interaction painfully slow and somehow empty. It was like speaking to someone over the network, and having to wait for an expectant response. It was a long and bothersome process.

With Ewout's short temper, Catherina had to be patient and understanding enough for both of them, making her job double hard. She knew that Alex feared her father and his anger towards her disability. Though not a word passed between them on the matter, it was clear that Alex believed her father thought of her as a disappointment.

_Maybe she's right_, Catherina realized silently with an inward grimace and a painful clutch at her heart. The thought that her husband was disapproving of their only living child was painful and made her head spin with sickening thoughts. Did Ewout regret agreeing to accompany his wife on this voyage, after all of this time? After almost forty years of trying for a child, and then having one on their last chance, only to find she was inadequate?

When more than ten minutes passed in silence, Catherina peered over at her daughter's blank expression. It was as if Alex was an alien to her own mind. She seemed unaffected by the hunched position she had remained in since her father's leave, and no expression passed over her young, round face.

When Alex finally _did _speak, her words were small and the she paused every few as if trying to find the right way to express herself. "Do I…have to give up my desk?"

Catherina considered the question, and almost answered with a "yes". Even though it wouldn't affect Alex's studies that much if the personal desktop was taken away from her for a while, or even permanently, Catherina shook her head in answer, saying softly with a small smile, "No…you can keep it."

At this, Alex gazed up at her mother, registering the answer as if disbelieving of the woman's choice. Seeing that it was a response of shock, Catherina explained, "The I.F. will surely up their security from henceforth, and you understand the consequences of furthering your discoveries. From now on, just stick to the public accessible material, all right?" Throwing her arm around Alex's back, she jostled the girl's shoulders.

After a moment, Alex nodded, saying, "Thanks, Mother."

Smile spreading to light her face, Catherina nodded before carefully removing her arm and pushing her way to her feet. Setting the desk on the floor, Alex guided the aging woman to her feet. Thanking her daughter kindly with a brief embrace, Catherina excused herself to her room for a well-earned rest. As her mother disappeared, Alex stood there for a minute longer before looking down at her desk. She considered returning to her homework, attempting to suppress a yawn.

Deciding her historical studies on Russia's growth in power over the last century could wait, Alex picked the desk up under her arm, and headed for her own room and soft, familiar bed.

**-**

* * *

-

The weeks following the I.F.'s threat to turn the ship around went uneventful. No more news concerning the matter of Alex's forbidden access to private articles reached her ears, and she picked up on her general studies once more. The daily routine became bothersome for the first few days following the warning, but Alex soon slipped into it without thought.

However, when she wasn't playing the simulated games altered for her disabilities, or doing her studies, Alex caught herself spending hours at a time thinking about what she had read concerning Ender Wiggin. The five-year-old boy had kept the monitor on a year longer than he was supposed to. From the news articles she had read, and from what her parents had told her, Alex knew that families on Earth were only permitted to have two children. The fact that the I.F. had permitted the Wiggin parents to have a _third_ child meant that there must have been a high promise in genetics. From the notes on a conversation between Colonel Graff and the teacher Anderson, Alex took that the older brother and sister to Ender Wiggin had been considered but discarded.

Reading the first few documents on Ender, Alex had felt a connection between them. There was comfort in knowing that they had both been born with expectations they couldn't meet. However, the last article she read had killed this comfort, and in a way, Alex was grateful she could no longer access the documents on the Third Wiggin child.

Alex was lying on her stomach on her bed, randomly searching the net when a beep emanated from her desk, and her screen froze up. Sitting up promptly, Alex watched as a visual simulated head of a middle aged man with a rough, but smooth expression appeared in a faded, flickering transparent image from her desk's black screen.

A mechanical, female voice from the computer declared, "Initiating Interactive Visual Simulator."

For a moment, Alex considered closing the desk, or getting up and finding her parents and alerting them to this sudden action her computer had chosen to take. Before she could do more than straighten herself and rest her hands on either side of the desk cover though, the visual head began shifting and blinking as if the man was orienting himself.

In a clear tone, the head greeted, "Hello, Alexandra Cato."

Eyeing the man, hands tightening on the either side of the desk, ready to slam the cover shut at any moment, Alex prompted nervously, "Who are you? How do you know who I am?"

There was a long pause, but the man's expression didn't change. Instead, he appeared to be simply waiting. _The network is probably registering and sending what I said_, Alex realized.

As if sensing the girl's realization, the man answered at last, "My name is Colonel Graff. I am the administrator of Battle School. I was hoping to speak with you Alex, _personally_, about your tampering with Ender Wiggin's files."

This time, Alex hesitated on purpose. It was a minute before she replied in a casual tone, "I was just browsing – I opened a lot of different files."

A smile spread over Colonel Graff's simulated face, and after a moment, noted, "But most of them residing in the subject matters of the Wiggins – Andrew Wiggin specifically."

Shrugging one shoulder and taking her hands stiffly away from the desk, Alex hid them tightly in her lap, replying, "He was a Third who went to Battle School – I was interested. Why wouldn't I be?"

Graff seemed to consider this question, and his simulated face froze as he entered a response. With a flicker, the face began animating again, sending his words back; "Alexandra, I can understand your interest in the Wiggin boy – there are several who are attempting to discover his files as we speak. What I am interested _really _in though, is how you were able to gain access to those articles so quickly from one to another with your situation."

Giving a snort at this, Alex noted in a thickened tone, "You mean my disability."

Graff seemed to consider this word instead, and nodded in response. The friendly look seemed to ease from his expression. "Disability…yes. Well…"

Mind already set into motion at his expected response, Alex cut in; "Just because my response is slow, doesn't mean my thought process is. I can easily work things out in my mind. It's just putting them into words, or action, that takes time."

Looking thoughtful momentarily, Graff nodded in understanding – as much as he could understand from an outside perspective. Before Alex could think of something more to say, the Colonel prompted, "What's your plan of interest for future _researching?_"

Blinking uncertainly at the question, Alex replied in confusion, "I thought security was heightened?"

Nodding, the reply came back as, "It was."

A small flicker of a smile passed over Graff's face, and Alex felt a chuckle rising in her throat. Suppressing it though, she watched as Graff signed off, and only afterwards, did she think about the threat that had been issued. But Graff was from the I.F. Did this mean he was setting her up, or that the threat had been meaningless? What would happen if she managed to hack through the security system again?

Hands straying shakily over the keys, Alex gazed at the opened net page she had been browsing before the IVS had interrupted. Transferring to her email account, a smile spread over the girl's lips at the disclosed message she received.

-

Not a word from you or I. – IFG

-

Knowing instinctively what the initials stood for despite the lack of addressee, Alex immediately brought up her school account and logged in. The security was much tighter now, and all of Alex's usual back doors into the file access were now closed and paved over. As the hours drifted pass and her eyes drooped, Alex watched one attempt after another be shot down. She had almost given in to the security system as the hope Graff had given her flickered, when a screen displaying the endless network categories of files popped up – represented by a line and sphere grid.

Alex noticed however, that her access to the grid was much smaller – meaning that to get into the top secret files would require far more work on her end. But that first step had been taken, and Alex could return to her unusual studies. Her search for self-improvement had begun again.


	3. Chapter 3: the Fantasy Game

**CHAPTER THREE**

**the Fantasy Game**

**-**

* * *

-

"We don't have time."

"We don't have time to rush too fast a kid who has as much chance of being a monster as a military genius."

"Hold him where he is until we see how things in his launch group."

"The fleet is looking for a battle commander. There is nothing to take care of until you get me of _that_."

-

Articles reporting on Ender Wiggin the following few weeks revealed that the kid had a taste for blood. After hacking through some more mainframes, Alex found interesting recordings of a strange game available to the kids in Battle School called simply, "the Fantasy Game".

At first, Ender's figure had started out as a human child, but soon became a rat. Alex watched his figure go through small events that weren't overly challenging. She watched him explore the simulated world, ignoring certain events, or studying them for a minute or two before moving on. From what she saw, Alex didn't find it surprising at his number of deaths. She couldn't imagine how badly should would do in comparison.

Ender's figure had started out as a small child, then a bear. At last, his form seemed to settle on a humanoid mouse with long fingers. Alex observed the way he toyed with the cat chasing him, but the cat's movements were repetitive and predictable. For a while, Alex returned to her studies, knowing she was falling behind every minute she sat and observed Ender Wiggin's activities.

Alex wasn't sure what drew her to this specific Third, but she supposed it was because he appeared so promising to Graff and Anderson. There had been no word from the Battle School Administrator since his go-ahead with the hacking, and there had been no reports or warnings either. Alex's parents questioned her time spent on the computer, but Alex had quickly learned to do all of her unusual studying when her parents were sleeping. Though they asked her now and again about her falling grades, Alex could only offer that her mind had been troubled lately, and sleeping had become difficult.

Both of these, at least to some extent, were true. Alex had become sleep deprived, but only because she spent long hours of the night thinking about her research on Battle School and the children being trained there. Opening up new articles and unedited videos revealed more confusing information about the bugger war she hadn't been previously aware of. What bothered her most about the videos was the footage of the end of the last invasion, when humans were seen boarding ships with already dead, but unharmed buggers. There was no footage in-between the end of the battle and the boarding of ships to explain this.

Seeing that Ender was only heading through small, trivial obstacles like landslides, Alex decided to break away from her computer for a while. Locking up the desk but not closing out the video access watching Ender's monitor, Alex got up from the bed and stretched. Sitting on the edge, she glanced over at the black screen as the desk feigned hibernation. How many hours a day did she spend on this the computer? Alex wasn't even sure what time it was. Time didn't matter here – there was no sun or moon orbiting the area they were in.

Turning eleven, Alex found no need for toys. They appeared childish, simple, and uninteresting. If she expected to be taken seriously, then Alex had to act serious.

Standing, Alex shifted her weight from one hip to the other. The stiffness in her right leg made walking with the gravity somewhat painful. Her muscles often tensed up between the switches of gravity and the anti-gravity fields, and spending more time on the computer and less time in the gym just made her joints stiffen more.

Deciding that some real thought processing would ease her mind and distract her from the pain in her leg, Alex headed for the section of the gym that served as the game simulation room. Though it was empty now, Alex occasionally spotted an adult in the room, testing the simulations. She supposed that it was a sort of reassurance and reminder of the mental preparation of tactics and statistics the crewmembers had been trained to know and act upon instantly; to be able to make rational decisions without hesitance under the pressures of battle, time, and the threat of death.

Glance passing over the few games gathered that she had played and beaten countless times, Alex felt reluctant and bored with them. There was nothing here of real interest. Her mind wandered tof the Fantasy Game, and she pondered on trying to hack into an unused account to play it herself. Though it appeared much easier than the strategy simulation games available aboard the spacecraft, the Fantasy Game wouldn't be able to adapt itself to her speed – thus offering a new level of challenge.

Stepping onto the platform of the controls to a space battle simulation, Alex watched as the hologram display of her range of ships and the enemy fleet was predetermined by the computer. The simulation was always set randomly, unless the player indicated specifically to place their ships in inputted coordinates. Alex allowed the simulator to set them randomly. Studying the haphazard organization and split of the ships, Alex noted which ones were meant for speed and others for weaponry.

Resting her hands over the wide arc of keys and commands, Alex gently swept her fingers over the buttons, muttering reminders to herself of what each one did. Though she was unsure if she remembered the command inputs correctly, Alex started the game nonetheless. Automatically, the ships from the enemy side of the display began their arc and shift into calculated formation according to Alex's display of weaponry. Since her own setup was seemingly random, the enemy ships continuously shifted as the computer AI struggled to find the most efficient setup to handle the insensible setup. This gave Alex the time she needed to develop a formation of attack in her mind.

In three inputs, she drew together a group of ships built for speed, and split them into three smaller groups. Sending one group towards the left, another towards the right, and the third group beneath the enemy pilots, Alex watched the enemy attempt to thwart her distractions. Meanwhile, Alex gathered two speed cruisers beside each weaponry spacecraft, and used them to push and guide the artillery to the location she wanted it to be set to hit. Each canon took time to recharge, and the enemy would most likely destroy most of the artillery before Alex could get in a second shot. This meant that she had to make each hit matter.

The battle proceeded as normal, and Alex continued to use her cruisers as distractions while her reserves of weaponry were being shifted around. Though she took heavy damage to her ranks, the enemy was defeated efficiently. Alex was about to step off the platform, thus ending the game sequence, when a new visual flickered and appeared on the enemy's side. Pausing in mid step, one foot still on the platform, Alex stared in confusion at the large mother spacecraft hovering, waiting.

_What's going on? Is this a new feature?_ Alex had never seen the mother spacecraft in the game before, nor had the game ever automatically simulated a new enemy after a battle without a prompt. Assuming that there had merely been an upgrade, Alex drew her foot back onto the platform. The shift in weight and connection of both panels her feet rested on, set the game back into motion.

Enemy ships materialized; surrounding the Mothership in what appeared to be a preset formation. The setup was tight. This time, the game didn't even give Alex the choice to set up her ships, as they appeared in separate groups but with an uneven mix of crafts. The number was small, and the odds were stacked greatly against her. The game didn't wait for Alex to give a response to start the simulation. The enemy ships began veering towards her pathetic arsenal.

Pulse quickening as she attempted to register this change in rules, Alex's fingers hovered unsurely over the buttons. In her mind, she was commanding her ships to split apart and attack an enemy ship in threes – two cruisers pushing and guiding a weapon, aiming for the nearest ships. However, the enemy ships were already beginning to tear apart her slowly drifting crafts as her fingers pressed into the commands.

When Alex managed to enter the necessary commands, she found herself with an uneven set up groups. Some had two cruisers and no weapon, and others were missing cruisers entirely. The simulated enemy had moved swiftly and shot down more than half of her cruisers and a quarter of her weaponry by the time Alex got them into the formations she had wanted. The result left her with a pathetic line of ships.

Attempting to salvage something from the battle, Alex direct the cruisers in a desperate attack around the enemy's approaching fleet into a suicidal strike at the hovering, inactive Mothership. More than twenty cruisers hit the large craft continuously, and there was visible, extensive damage and explosions with each hit. The enemy crafts paused in midflight, and the whole game appeared to freeze as if the computer was having trouble registering the player's actions.

After a minute passed in silence, the simulations began to fade and the game shut itself down. Alex stared at the empty space where the simulators resting at the bottom of the platform that shot up the images of the ships, now showed nothing. Pressing a few buttons, there was no response.

The game had shut itself down.

Stepping off the platform wearily, Alex left the game room with her mind abuzz with thoughts of the strange behavior. She had never known the game to automatically shut down upon an enemy's defeat.

_Was it even a defeat? _Alex wondered as she drifted into the anti-gravity hallway, aiming for the opposite wall's handhold bar. _I don't even know what the result of that move was._

Deciding she would report the bug to the ship's information technology technician, Alex headed for the crewmembers' personal working quarters. The hall separating the work areas was similar to the living space section. It took a moment for the gravity to kick in, and Alex waited patiently. Heading towards the end of the hall and the door resting there, Alex entered and paused as the metal barrier whined shut behind her.

The computer lab was a cluttered mess of inlaid computers, machines set into constant motion, and rolling chairs resting in the inlaid bars that guided them around the desks. The white wispy hair of the elderly man was just visible over his hunched back. The man's white lab coat drifted over the sides of the cushioned chair like drapes weighing him down. Garret spent long hours in the laboratory, working on upgrading their technology to the extent he could, and attempting to fix machines that were constantly breaking down over time.

Consumed in his muttered thoughts, Garret paid no notice to Alex's arrival. Standing at the doorway for a minute, the girl decided to take the chance to observe the lab. She hadn't been inside it in weeks – ever since she had regained access to the I.F.'s secret files. The usual water processing, air ducts, and computers were set atop the counters; waiting to be either prepared or enhanced.

It wasn't until Garret pushed his chair along the route towards the end of the metal table that he spotted a distracted Alex. A smile crept over the man's wrinkly features at the sight of the girl, and he called to her in a thick German accent, "Ohy, Alex!"

When the girl turned towards him with a curious, surprised expression, the technician gave a small chuckle. Garret enjoyed Alex's enthusiasm with working with technology and computers, and often dived into lengthy conversations with the bright girl. Garret was sure that if Alex's disabilities could be been managed better, she could live up to her expectations easily and take command as the ship's pilot in the upcoming war.

Alex must have guessed the technician's line of thought because she dropped her gaze to peer at her leather booted feet. Easing his expression and letting the topic drop from his thoughts, Garret swiveled the chair in her direction, saying, "Haven't seen you around in a while, miss."

Looking up at this, Alex peered blankly at the man for a moment, then offered him a small smile before replying with a light shrug, "Studies…you know."

Turning his chair slowly to watch her walk over to his side, Garret observed the way she carefully picked up the tools to examine them with a distracted look in her eyes. After a moment, he relaxed back in the comfortable chair, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I see. Well then, what do I owe the break from such important matters?"

Alex lifted her head, as if she had forgotten why she had walked into the lab in the first place. Then, turning towards the elderly man's familiar, friendly form, she told him, "I think there's something wrong with one of the simulations in the game room."

Garret gave her a puzzled look at this, prompting, "How so?"

Giving it clear thought as she chose her words carefully, Alex explained the game's reaction to her first win, and how it had shut itself down even though she hadn't stepped off the platform to announce the end of the simulation. By the time Alex finished, Garret was sitting straight up in his chair with an attentive gaze. He didn't say or do anything for a long time after Alex's last words drifted away, and the girl shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Was there an upgrade?" Alex wondered aloud.

Shaking his head and breaking from his trance, Garret noted in a curious tone, "Not that I am aware of. I'll speak with the technician who overlooks the approval of our machines and upgrades. Thank you for alerting me about this, Alex."

Nodding and feeling out of place, Alex headed back up the steps with hand on the railing to the door. Garret watched the girl go, but didn't call to her. He had tested the game equipment just a few hours previous, and hadn't had the same response that Alex got. There had been no alerts about any upgrades or change in the simulation AI. Baffled and thoroughly interested now, Garret turned to his desk to takes notes on the matter. Closing the lid, he heaved it beneath his arm and headed for the game room in hopes to find some answers there.

-

Returning to her room, Alex threw herself down on her bed, ignoring the way her still open, black screened desk shifted from side to side threateningly as her weight made the mattress jostle. Arms gripping the pillow to her chin, Alex lay, staring at the dark screen. The desk rested ominously, catching her gaze and tempting her with what her security system hid.

Alex's mind wandered to the Fantasy Game. Could she tap into an account and gain access to it? She wondered if everyone played the game the way Ender did. He was quick, responsive, and seemingly curious. He was thorough in everything he did, toying with the game's mechanics and AI.

Hurriedly pushing the pillow behind her, Alex sat up and drew the desk closer. Breaking through her own security system was easy. Ender's screen appeared in a window to one side. Alex caught sight of his mouse figure's head dissolving in a giant glass of foaming, sickly yellow liquid. Peering at this curiously, Alex watched Ender's figure reappear in a previous area, but then his screen blacked out, and the window closed.

Ender had exited the game.

With a grimace, Alex returned to her researching. Scrolling down a list of the Fantasy Game accounts, she paused at one labeled simply, "God". This perked the girl's interest. All the other accounts were named after the students. Had another student broken through the system to make a second account for themselves? Why?

Deciding to take it though, Alex broke into it, and the Fantasy Game popped up. Her figure started out as a genderless child. She stood with a long dirt pathway before her. She was blocked by tall, vine walls on three sides. Her only choice was to go forward.

Directing her figure down the path cautiously, Alex recalled the troubles that she witnessed Ender encountering. Drawing to the first branch-off, the first thing Alex noticed was that the maze wasn't the same as the first one Ender had encountered. Did the game randomly generate the pathways? Or was it set differently for each student's account?

Only able to go left or right, Alex remembered her studies in history. In the medieval ages, knights and warriors never did anything with their left hand. The left hand was considered a sign of danger and betrayal. If Graff designed the game, would he factor in something like that?

Deciding not to take the chance, Alex took the right path instead. After a few more turns, it led her to a dead end. Making her way back, Alex was out of the maze within minutes. The maze opened up to a forest with a sign just to the right. Examining it, Alex found that it read:

-

"Beware the way of the owls."

-

As soon as the message disappeared, Alex's figure turned into a brown grizzly bear. Starting the bear at a trot, she noticed how the trees became more clumped together, and that the shadows lengthened. A howling picked up as she moved blindly further into the forest. Small critters scurried away from her. A few attempted to attack her, but Alex either dodged them, or swiped them aside.

Low rumbling hooting picked up. The further she went; more voices joined the hooting until the sound was almost unbearable. Heading left, Alex noticed the chorus of owls quieted. Here, she paused her figure. The sign warned her about heading towards the owls, but what if that was just a trick?

Deciding to head the way she was, Alex soon made it out of the forest – much to her relief. The screen darkened, and when it lightened, she was staring at the mouse Ender had played as. Recognizing the large pieces of furniture, Alex noted that they were in different spots.

A shaking of the screen alerted the player to the tremendous presence of an approaching obstacle. Quickly hiding her figure under the couch, Alex watched the large orange paws of the cat slowly move past. The cat had sensed her figure, and was on the prowl. Before she could do more than move an inch, the cat's paw had reached underneath the purple couch, and swiped the mouse. Her figure disappeared, and the words "Game Over" appeared on a fading screen.

For a minute, Alex just sat there hunched, sitting and watching at the words showing vividly white against the black background. Pressing an input button, her figure reappeared at the forest, back as a bear. Going away from the owls had led to the cat. What did the other direction lead to?

Deciding to try something different, Alex followed the hooting this time. The dark pathway led into a clearing. The screen faded, and when her figure reappeared again, it had taken on the form of a snake. This time, she found herself facing a valley, whose diameter was hidden by the towering stalks of grass. Slithering down one end for a ways, and then the other, revealed no end in sight.

Hesitating before the entrance of the woods, Alex moved her figure into the grass. Her sight became a forest of thick grass trunks. A rustling ahead made her pause, and after a moment, a mongoose rushed out before her, and pushed her snake's head into its mouth. Before she could do anything, Alex's snaked was slipping down the mongoose's throat. Within moments, the words "Game Over" appeared once again.

Growing irritated now, it was a minute before Alex's mind shot her anger into her trembling hands, and she slammed the desk shut. Sitting there as her rage eased, Alex understood Ender's lack of patience. The gruesome death his player had suffered last would have offset her as well. Her own character's death was obnoxious and unsettling.

Pushing her laptop aside, Alex sat there, refusing to look at it for several long minutes. An irritated buzz started in the back of her mind, driving away any organized thoughts. The same images of the Fantasy Game ran through her mind, and she wondered if Ender had returned to his own account. Would he ever?

_Well_, I _will_, Alex decided determinedly. Suffering two dramatic defeats meant little. It meant that she hadn't come to learn the ways of the game, or how to look for the signs. Thinking back on it, Alex knew she should have attempted to move her player away from the rustling. Even with her slow reaction time, Alex would have had time to get away before the mongoose had eaten her figure.

Hesitatingly, Alex pulled the desk back over to her, and leaning back against the wall, laid it on her lap. Logging back on, she stared hypnotically at the screen, muttering, "Here we go again…"


	4. Chapter 4: the Unexpected

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**the Unexpected**

**-**

* * *

-

"I suppose you'll move him now."

"We were waiting to see how he handled the thing with Bernard. He handled it perfectly."

"As soon as he can cope with a situation, you move him to one he _can't _cope with. Does he get any rest?"

"We're trying to save the world, not heal the wounded. You're too compassionate."

-

Attempting to access Ender's desk proved impossible. At first, Alex thought that Graff had finally come down on her hacking. She realized though, as a few days passed, that word would have reached her or the ship. Within this time, Alex attempted to focus on her studies instead, which she had fallen significantly behind in. Though her parents noticed the decline, they pursed their lips and turned the other cheek.

Had Graff spoken with them? At first, Alex discarded the idea of hacking into the ship's mainframe terminal and picking through the files and transfers stored there. But as the days passed, and she continued to receive the blinking error message, Alex found the prospect growing more appealing.

On the night of the third day, she finally gave in, and hooked her computer to a terminal in a storage room. Each room that contained information that needed to be stored, had its own terminal. The storage room held all their materials for the trip. Sitting down in the far corner of the room, hidden by the mountains of crates, Alex's fingers moved slowly but precisely. She couldn't make a mistake that might trip some sort of alert or alarm. The key was to trick the computer into believing she had a _right _to look at these files, which only the captain aboard the ship did. This meant pilfering through the right folders and maneuvering past the access key prompts.

The process and realization of the consequences of her actions turned Alex's stomach, but in the queasiness, she felt a rush that shook her arms that she hadn't felt since she had first come across Ender Wiggin's files. Over an hour passed before Alex was showed the profit of her efforts. As the list ran down, flashes of the titles lasting only a fraction of a second as the computer continued to scroll towards the bottom, Alex released a relieved sigh.

Redirecting towards the more recent files, Alex scanned them, finding nothing of real interest. There were communications with family members left back on Earth, reports about the ship maintenance, the staff, and other usual requirements from the captain and crewmembers. There were some documents from her parents' work that intrigued Alex's interest, but as she strayed the highlighter over the first file, the name of the one above it caught her attention immediately.

The file's name read, _SessionAnalysis_, and the subject matter was simply: #1230. Bringing up the detailed information on the file revealed that it was sent from Dana Pewter's personal terminal. Had she sent out the details on her sessions with those aboard the ship? What about Counsel-Client privilege?

Scanning further back up, Alex saw that a file was sent about every week. A sickening feeling reentered Alex's stomach as she realized that the description was always the same: #1230.

Commanding the computer to gain access to the latest file resulted in her screen turning black. After twenty seconds passed and nothing happened, Alex's eyes strayed to the now blank lens that had glowed a steady green to indicate the computer was on. A light dying exhaust caught the girl's attention, making her raise her gaze swiftly. The lights on the terminal began to flicker and then fade as the machine shut down.

Heart racing now, Alex hurriedly tried to turn her desk back on, but to no avail. Without more hesitance than could be helped, she swiftly removed the plug connecting her computer to the terminal, and rose to her feet. Taking both the desk and connector with her, Alex moved swiftly for the door with the bulky machine under one arm.

The door opened with a soft whine before her, and as she stepped out into the hallway, gravity was released once more. Floating down the corridor, pulling herself more quickly along with the handlebar on the wall, Alex tried to calm her racing heart. Had she shut down the terminal? Why wouldn't her desk turn on?

From behind she could hear doors winding open one after another, and knew her actions must have caused an automatic stir of confusion and alarm. One of the ship's engineers, an aging man with thinning hair named Justin, moved swiftly past her without a glance, speaking into the small communicator microphone looped around his head to his mouth. His words were rushed, and even if Alex had paused to listen to them, she wouldn't have understood what he was saying.

Gravity's pull yanked Alex down, making her fall to her knees. Kneeling there, it took her several confused moments to realize that they had turned it back on to make the process of running around to identify the crisis easier. From the other end of the hallway, Catherina emerged, and paused in half step at the sight of her daughter.

Hurrying to Alex's side, she rested her hands on either side of the girl's forearms, calling her name repeatedly.

On the fifth time she was called, Alex raised her solemn eyes to meet the worried expression that wrinkled her mother's fair, elderly face. Swallowing back a confession, Alex told her quietly, "I'm fine…" Then more strongly; "The gravity just took me by surprise."

Though she appeared hesitant, Catherina took this lie in full measure, and without another word, she stood and headed down the hallway. Alex looked back as she watched her mother disappear into the storage room, and a worried grimace formed on her face. Alex's mother was in charge of - amongst other things - the working order of the technology aboard the ship. Her routine checks were very precise and thorough. When the matter calmed, fingers would surely be pointed Catherina's way.

Silently apologizing, Alex forced herself to her feet, and carrying the heavy desk with her, made her way back to the living compartments. Back in her room, she rested her blank computer on the locker surface. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she sat staring at it. The desk still refused to power on, and Alex wondered what had happened.

Was it because she had been accessing forbidden files? The first one she opened had caused this, Alex was sure. Was it just that specific file, or would this still have happened if she had chosen a different one? Maybe it was some sort of security lock down that happened when the terminal realized she hadn't entered the necessary access keys.

Either way, Alex wouldn't be able to function her daily routine without a desk. Turning to her parents would reveal what she had done, and the consequences could be more severe then simply restricted computer access. With a shake of her head, Alex slipped off her bed and picked up the handheld terminal.

**-**

* * *

-

Resting in the lopsided chair rolled to the end of its leash, Garret sat slumped with one hand drumming on the edge of the counter, as he stared at the dead desk. The technician paid the shifting, anxious girl to one side no mind. Alex had come to him, presenting a desk that refused to power on, asking for a quick fix.

Alex expected that Garret was running through the list of reasons why it wouldn't turn on in his mind. However, the elderly man was actually pondering the reasons why Alex had brought it to him so anxiously. Desks were known to power down after a few years' use, whether from an internal power failure, or an outside source like a hacker or a virus. Generally, it was a quick and easy fix. A power failure meant the computer's salvation energy chip merely had to be reprogrammed. A virus could be wiped without even turning on the desk at all.

These solutions, Garret knew, Alex could have tried herself. However, she had offered no reason for bringing it here. Turning some in his seat, Garret looked to the girl now with a quirked eyebrow of skepticism, prompting, "And you did _nothing _to cause it to do this?"

It was a long pause - longer than usual - before Alex replied with a shake of her head, "No…nothing."

Glancing back at the desk and returning to drumming his fingers for a moment, Garret suddenly sat forward with a clearing of his throat, saying, "Well then, let's see what's just the matter."

Resting his hands on either side of the desk, he lifted and carried it over to a counter resting beside his own personal terminal. Without looking at the girl as he hooked the desk up, he informed Alex, "This terminal is designed to trace a desk's entire activity."

Raising her gaze sharply, Alex froze in place. For a minute, as she watched Garret work and a hologram appear in the air above the terminal, Alex felt her world crashing around her. Soon Garret would know about everything she had been doing in the last year or so - the hacking, the files, her communication with Graff, the Fantasy Game, and especially, her access to the storage room terminal.

The technician's face remained expressionless as he paused in his typing to peer up at the display. Something flickered in the man's eyes that Alex didn't recognize. Minutes passed in silence as the list slowly scrolled down, listing all of Alex's actions. From where she stood to one side, she couldn't tell what the display was showing at any given moment.

Finally, Garret looked down at the controls of the terminal, and after inputting a few commands, unhooked the connector cable. There was a light vroom of exhaust as the connection was broken. Picking up the desk, he turned and held it before him, but not towards the girl and her outstretched, waiting arms.

Garret looked down at her with an almost disapproving look, saying in a quiet, warning tone, "Be weary of your actions, Alex. Or they could cost much more than you expect." Alex tensed where she stood, blinking largely up at Garret with a pleading in her eyes. There was no softness or kindness resting in the elderly man's hard gaze.

For a moment, Alex was sure that he was going to take the desk away. Just as she went to lower her arms, Garret placed the computer in them carefully, and Alex got the sense he wanted it as far away from himself as possible. Without another word, he turned back to his terminal. Sidestepping, Alex watched as he deleted all traces of evaluating her desk.

Alex wanted to thank the man as relief filled her, but as Garret walked away from the terminal, he didn't look at her. Instead, he plopped himself down in the chair, and rolled towards the end of the counter, hands out held in the perfect stance to begin typing. His gaze became fixated on the display before him, but his input was slower and more hesitant than usual.

With a grimace, Alex decided to let it be, and turning, started her way slowly up the steps. She was halfway up, when Garret raised his gaze, and called to her, "There was nothing wrong."

Pausing, Alex turned to him in confusion. Was he talking about her desk? Didn't he see what she had been doing? Maybe he was just assuring her that he wasn't going to report her actions.

As Alex opened her mouth, Garret leaned back in his chair, and spanned his gaze to peer up at her, saying in a simple tone, "The game room's Battleship simulator."

Perplexed still, mind still registering that Garret had deleted her tracks, Alex prompted, "What about it?"

"There's nothing wrong with it."

Taking in this piece of information, Alex gave a slow, numb nod of her head. Garret returned the gesture, and waited a few moments before returning to his work. Standing there for a minute longer, Alex pushed away this odd piece of information as she turned and headed out of the room.

Back in her favored corner in the living room of her family's quarters, Alex sat with legs outstretched and her desk lying heavily on her lap. She was impressed and relieved as her terminal turned on. A quick search revealed that all her documents and pieces of work remained intact.

What Garret had said came back to her: _"There's nothing wrong with it."_

He had mentioned the game room, but now that Alex gave it thought, she wondered if maybe there _wasn't_ something wrong with her desk. She had been able to hack into the storage room terminal - at least, to an extent - and maybe that was what she was looking for. Proof that she hadn't been cut off from her personal studies.

Sitting back, Alex tried to think of everything she knew about Battle School. She knew very little other than that those who went there were raised to be tacticians, commanders, and pilots. Ender, who at first seemed to be rejected, had been admitted. The reports on his actions had caused a stir in Graff, and a teacher, Anderson. She knew that they were organized into groups because each student's file listed them under a different type of animal. Those within the same group were listed together.

Was it possible that Ender had been switched into a different group? What point would there be in that?

Alex understood little about Battle School, so she supposed it was possible. Ender had been listed under the 'Launchies' group, which was full of newbies to Battle School. It would make sense that they eventually moved him. Wouldn't he have been able to keep his desk though?

Deciding to check Ender's file, Alex brought up the screen. The hack was once again, simple. Scanning over the file revealed that Ender had been moved into a group called 'Salamander'.

The file read:

-

ENDER WIGGIN

ASSIGNED SALAMANDER ARMY

COMMANDER BONZO MADRID

EFFECTIVE IMMIEDIATELY

CODE GREEN GREEN BROWN

NO POSESSIONS TRANSFERRED

-

Alex had her answers, and at the same time, confusion was added to the mix. Salamander _Army?_ And what was this code? Checking the file again, she saw that Ender was still indeed in Battle School. Scanning some other files revealed other kids were part of this _'Salamander Army' _as well. No possessions transferrefd meant that she was trying to access a desk that no longer belonged to Ender. It might have even been destroyed.

This prompted Alex to begin a new search, and it wasn't long before she found the Salamander listing, and then found Ender. Gaining access showed that he hadn't played the Fantasy Game since the day he had been transferred. However, further probing showed that there were recordings of what he had done. Deciding to feed her curiosity, Alex sat back against the wall and watched her screen fade in to show him moving his character beyond Fairyland and the Giant he had killed. He climbed down from the table, and dropped to the ground from the chair's leg.

Alex gave a twist of disgust as Ender's character killed a rat approaching him with a snarl, through the use of a pin from the Giant's shirt. The others were smart enough to scatter. The Giant had become a half-decomposed body with its jaws wide and large, yellow teeth bared at the sky. He followed the stream that led him to the edge of the forest, and Alex wondered if it was the same forest that she herself had traveled through. She made a mental note to investigate further later on, when she played again herself.

Ender appeared in a playground, where children were running the rides merrily. Anything Ender tried to do though resulted in his figure falling through or thrown off, as if the ladder, slide, and merry-go-round were hologram, but only partly. He could make it part way along on one of the rides before his child form fell. Whenever he fell, the twelve other children would circle him and laugh raucously at his small figure.

Ender directed his character into the forest, stepping onto a brick road overgrown with weeds. Alex recognized side quest games, but Ender had developed beyond that. His focus had become to find the goal of the area, and to complete it. He eventually came to a well in a clearing with a sign that said, "Drink, Traveler."

As his character stepped forward, there was a snarl that made him turn. Twelve wolves with the human children faces stepped towards him, and before Ender could do anything, he was quickly devoured. When his figure appeared in the same area, he tried to climb down the well before he was devoured once more. When he appeared at the playground, he lured a girl to follow him down the slide. She was so close that when he fell through, she did too. However, the girl became stunned and remained motionless, in the form of a wolf. He began to do this to the others, but before he could stun them all, the others began to shift and come awake, and thus, he was once again devoured.

Ender grew smarter. The third time was the last encounter. He would stun a wolf, and then dump it into the brook in the woods. The wolf would sizzle and meld as if the water was instead acid. This time, he made it down the well in the bucket, ignoring the piles of treasure. It was obviously another sort of trap.

He moved past a table covered in food, and through cages from the ceilings holding friendly, odd creatures that Ender continued to ignore. Then, he came to a door that intrigued Alex, and caused her to sit up. Glowing emeralds were inlaid into the door to read:

-

THE END OF THE WORLD

-

Ender opened the door almost instantly and stepped through to stand on a ledge. He overlooked a medieval setting, with small villages scattered in the open land bordered by Autumn forests. His figure was so high up, that Ender was staring down through the clouds. Above him, rested a cavern ceiling with crystals glinting in the darkness.

Alex nearly cried out as Ender sent his character hurling from the ledge and through the air towards a curving river just beneath him. He had reached a sort of paradise, a place of peace, and was about to give it up foolishly. A cloud sped beneath him though, and caught his character, leading him towards a high window in a castle tower. It dropped him on the floor of a door-less room, high above the ground - even higher than the ledge he had jumped carelessly from. The rug before the fireplace twisted into the form of a snake, tongue hissing softly at him with vicious, hungry eyes. "I am your only escape," it said. "Death is your only escape."

The screen darkened unexpectedly, and it was a moment before the recording closed and Alex's desktop reappeared. She sat there in wonder, pondering what she had just seen. The game had taken both Ender - and unknowingly - her to a place neither of them had expected to go. Ender's logic and quick mind had dragged the children into the stream to their death, and his foolishness and impulsion had made him leap from the ledge dramatically.

Beginning to feel overwhelmed, Alex shut down her desk and rested it on her locker. Her limbs trembled at the faint clunk, and she stood staring down at the cover in thought. She was relieved that her desk was in working order, and that she hadn't lost her ability to watch Ender.

__

"There's nothing wrong with it."

Alex suddenly remembered what Garret had been referring to. She had gone to him, telling him about how the Battleship simulator had worked oddly. He said there was nothing wrong with it, but then, what had happened? Stroking the top of her desk thoughtfully, Alex decided she would find out when she awoke. Turning off her light, she laid down and attempted to sleep. Though her eyelids were heavy, and eventually closed, a hum in the back of Alex's mind spoke faintly of the Fantasy Game.

Ender's actions in his own saved file were logical and then rash. It had served as proof that even geniuses were prone to impulse and irrational actions. It proved that even geniuses, like every other normal human being, were prone to mistakes.

With this comforting thought, Alex let exhaustion drag a blanket over her mind, and slept more peacefully than she had in weeks.

**-**

* * *

-

With shaky hands, Alex connected her desk to the terminal that ran the controls and rules of the Battleship simulator. Hacking into the mainframe, she scrolled through the lines of coding, testing it. She had the simulator bring up the images of all ships, and to her confusion, and yet not to her surprise, Alex saw that there was _no _Mothership. Nothing she did to fiddle with the restrictions forced it to show what she wanted.

Alex would have examined the game further if she wasn't weary of someone stepping into the room without notice. She hadn't heard word about the storage room terminal, and wanted to avoid the subject matter altogether. As she disconnected her computer, Alex hesitated, her eyes straying over the controls. Placing her desk closed on the ground beside the lift, Alex slowly placed both feet on the pads. She was hoisted six inches to see better, and gazed out across the grid to the lift opposite. The Battleship simulator was designed for either one or two people to play. The game waited to see if there was an opponent, and registering that it was a solo round, booted up.

Lights danced from the other side and passed along the rims of the grid to Alex's end, then stayed solid with a warm glow. The simulator waited for her input. Alex hesitated in thought, and then decided to go with a one-on-one battle. A wheel array of ships she could choose from appeared in the air before her. The one presented in front of her showed its stats; speed, weaponry, and maneuverability.

Picking a light ship with a quick, but weak shot, Alex's heart thumped in her chest. However, she suppressed any rising doubts or fears, and waited patiently for the simulator to pick its own, according to her choice and randomness.

_Be patient and wait, like a good little soldier_, Alex thought in a sarcastic manner.

As the enemy ship appeared, the first thought that came to mind was, _salamander_. The ship was in a form that Alex had never seen, and that hadn't been in the array she'd chosen from- which was common. The player didn't get to choose from all the available ships. The enemy ships took on the form of the battlers that the buggers had been seen fighting in, in the last two invasions. However, this one hadn't appeared in her check of the programming either.

Alex thought to the invasion videos again, and how the buggers had been found aboard their ships unharmed, and yet dead. She swayed where she perched for a moment, but then shook her head and cleared it, making herself focus. The new ship facing her had four branch offs, two in the front, and two in the back. They were bent in an upside down, L position, with three fire arms on each side in the front, and five on each in the back. There was a long winding column behind the bulk, which served as a power engine. The 'head' of the ship had two circular lens, serving as the Battle Salamander's eyes.

The game rule was that the simulator wouldn't start until the player actually _moved _their own ship. However, the Salamander was already making its way through the air towards her battler, firing warning shots. The ship had spanned a fourth of the distance when Alex's thoughts reached her hands, and she began to clumsily move her ship to one side, setting off shots aimed for the enemy. She wasn't going to attempt to warn off a battleship when the simulator was ignoring its programmed rules. None of her shots hit the Battle Salamander however, as it slithered easily from side to side, column swaying behind it like a tail.

_It moves like a lizard, I'll give it that_, Alex thought. Temporarily distracted, her next action didn't come quick enough, and her ship was destroyed in a barrage of missiles from the twenty-five lasers on the Battle Salamander. There was a chained sound of decaying parts as her ship broke down and disintegrated piece by piece.

The Battle Salamander hovered in the air in expectancy, like a taunt. It reminded her of the watchful, encircling children with their raucous laughter - hovering there, waiting. There was a wolf hidden beneath the metal of the ship.

_A wolf in sheep's clothing_, Alex thought. _I won't play the part of Little Red Riding Hood_.

With a defiant shake of her head, Alex took the six inch step back off the lift. Though her descent was clumsy, her actions were steady. The simulator continued to run, and the Battle Salamander seemed to be watching her daringly, waiting for her to step back up.

When it didn't disappear, Alex bent down and picked up her desk, and without glancing back up, turned and walked out of the game room.

**-**

* * *

-

Returning to her studies on Ender revealed a document of his scoring in some sort of game she couldn't gain access to. It listed him as "Damaged but Active". This confused Alex thoroughly, and she made a mental note to look further into what happened in Battle School.

As time began to pass slowly, Alex stayed away from the game room, and continued to watch Ender's score rank up. Still no one approached her about the terminal. There was no listing of his score, under shots fired or taken though, and yet, he was at the top of the ranking. A day came when Alex was reading through Ender's files, when she noticed that it was his seventh birthday.

With a fleeting smile, Alex sent an anonymous 'Happy Birthday' message to his desk, and closed her own down. She wondered if birthdays held any significance at Battle School. They mattered very little on the ship. The most that happened was someone received leave from their duties for part of the day. Other crewmembers would take on the extra burden to give the birthday person some peace. Since Alex's duties were to her studies and appointments, this meant that got no breaks at all. It was okay, it didn't bother her much.

Another birthday was just another reminder of her failure to live up to the standards that had been set for her.

After the next scores were listed, Alex was shocked to find that Ender had dropped in the standings. He had a score for firing and accuracy now. After a few hours passed, Alex returned to Ender's file and found that his desk was, once again, unavailable. Mystified, she did a search and found that he had been moved into 'Rat Army'.

A fleeting smile appeared on Alex's face as she hacked into Ender's new desk, relieved to find it still easy to do. So Ender was moving up in the world, and quickly at that.

"Well, Ender," Alex stated aloud. "It's about time the world was shown that even someone like you, a Third, someone nobody expected anything from as time passed, can be proven wrong. Maybe you won't be alone in the end of this."


	5. Chapter 5: the Pressure Lies Thick

****

CHAPTER FIVE

The Pressure Lies Thick

-

* * *

-

"Fairness is a wonderful attribute, Mr. Anderson. It has nothing to do with war."

"When do you plan on making him a commander? When he's eight?"

"If Ender isn't the one, if his peak of military brilliance does not coincide with the arrival of our fleet at the bugger homeworlds, then it doesn't really matter what our training method is or isn't."

"I think you might be right about Ender. I just don't believe you, and you alone, should decide the fate of the world."

"I don't even think it's right that I decide the fate of Ender Wiggin."

-

Therapy sessions with Alexandra had become troublesome, with inadmissible results. The girl's withdrawal into her own world and thoughts had developed steadily within the passing year, and now posed as a barrier Ms. Pewter couldn't breach. Every subject she touched upon, Alexandra talked about freely in a calm manner that told the psychiatrist that the girl's mind was elsewhere.

Ms. Pewter tried several different methods to obtain that privileged part of Alex's mind - from hypnosis, to ink prints, and as far as moderating wave patterns. There were times when the youth laughed, times when she threw things, and even moments when she broke down and cried. On more than one occasion, Ms. Pewter found herself comforting the young girl, despite the oaths she had taken when she received her license. Comforting a patient stood the risk of them closing in feelings, or becoming dependable on the source of aid. However, Alex continued to remain open about her thoughts about the crewmembers, her 'unfulfilled role', her parents, and even her studies and the bugger war. She talked about how hard it was to sleep at night, and how nervous she was, now that the time of the Third Invasion was drawing steadily closer.

Still, Ms. Pewter could feel something resting in the back of Alex's mind - secret and dark, like a wraith in the night. Something both illuming and real, and yet unreal at the same time.

Something only Alex can see, Dana thought to herself, one day shortly - yet unknowingly to herself - after Ender was transferred into Rat Army in Battle School, more than sixty years' distance from where they zoomed along.

Alex rested cradled on the sofa with her head resting heavy, and a distant look glazed in her eyes. The girl's mind had begun to wonder into the Zone - as Dana called it - while her therapist inputted her thoughts into her desk. Their time together this week was almost up, and Ms. Pewter hadn't obtained anything worthwhile to document. Instead, the elderly woman found herself putting down fragments of the same thoughts she had in dozens of other sessions; attempting to pass the time.

"From skin to fur…"

The quiet mutter of words was so subtle and unexpected, that Dana wasn't sure she heard them. Raising her gaze expectedly, there was a shock of hope in her eyes as she waited tensely for Alex to say something more. Ms. Pewter didn't understand the strange sentence, and was hoping for clarification. Perhaps she had heard her wrong?

But Alex offered no explanation, and had shut her mouth firmly once more.

_How long had she been dwelling on that thought?_ Dana pondered, stroking back her wispy, white hair in a quick, irritated gesture.

As the woman opened her mouth, perhaps to prompt her patient further, Alex sat up suddenly, and paused before throwing her legs over the side of the sofa. There was another long moment before Alex stood stiffly, and turning to Dana, said, "Session's up." A moment later, she was already heading for the door, as Dana gave a dumb nod of her head, watching the slim, retreating back.

-

* * *

-

Alex's life had become a routine. She would wake up, eat, then speak with her parents some so as not to worry them. As Ewout and Catherina Cato headed out to do their necessary, daily tasks, Alex would turn to her studies on Battle School, the International Fleet, and the buggers. When her parents returned for their second meal of the day, Alex would tell them how she was busy hard at work with her schooling - making up some research assignment that explained her constant use of the internet. When the Catos returned to their duties, Alex turned to Ender Wiggin and the Fantasy Game. When bedtime began to roll around, she would nibble her last meal as she stayed up even after heading to bed, to actually _do _her homework assignments. The process was a repetitive routine that Alex never grew dreary of. The days slipped by quick during the day, and slow during the restless nights.

_Assuming I_ am_ sleeping at night_, according to Earth's orbit, Alex thought. She shook her head to clear it of confusing, muddled thoughts. She had done countless internet checks and formulations to attempt to keep a schedule revolved around Earth's Day and Night system, but had given it up when she realized how off balance it was to the rest of the crew's activities.

Now that her weekly session was over, Alex walked away with a zoned feeling. With every meeting with Ms. Pewter, the girl fed the woman more old feelings, putting on a show to please the woman. Alex didn't care about what her parents' thought, or about her schooling anymore. Her focus remained on Ender and the mysteries of Battle School and the bugger war. Alex felt that if she was going to be part of the Third Invasion, then she should have a much broader knowledge of what humanity was going up against.

Did they stand a chance at all? The International Fleet must have thought so, to send an army seventy years away to take out the bugger homeworlds. Did this mean they had a plan?

_They can't _really _be relying on a single kid to pull us through this_, Alex thought decisively with a shake of her head as she stepped into her living room. The broad six inch step into the living space made her fumble every time, but Alex had grown accustomed to her flaws, and where they appeared on the ship. She quickly readjusted herself, and was already heading towards her room and the desk terminal waiting there; locked up.

The computer had become a sort of sensory, drawing Alex to it like a shark to blood. She imagined it was the same hungry feeling, to devour the source, and in her case, the information _from _the source. The blood of the computer.

The first thing Alex saw when she powered on, was that her desk was attempting to make a connection with a force outside the ship. Giving her computer a perplexed look, Alex's finger hesitated over the input key, before pushing down and giving the terminal permission to loop the connection.

An old, yet familiar, mechanical voice stated, "Initiating Interactive Visual Simulator."

Pulling her hands back, Alex watched as Colonel Graff's unfamiliar, but unforgettable face appeared. There were lines around his mouth and brow now, and bags resting beneath sinking eyes. A smile though flittered on his transparent face, and Alex eased into an upright sitting position.

"Hello, Alex. It's been a while."

"A year," the girl told him, speaking clearly as a sense of calm came over her. Despite the man's seemingly random appearance, Alex found his smile a reassuring gesture.

Graff's holographic face froze as he entered his response, and Alex wondered what he thought when he saw the image her computer had scanned and sent to him. What did he see, when he saw her? A person with power who couldn't assert it? Or just a child set on a course of death? Alex had long since come to terms with the ultimate fate of her voyage.

Now and again, while searching the net, she found herself yearning for what children back on Earth had. To go to school, play on slides like Ender in the Fantasy Game, and have parents she could go to the beach or fair with. Maybe even friends.

_My only friend doesn't know anything about me_, Alex realized with a humorless chuckle to herself.

Alex looked up as Graff's head began to move again, the message coming back as; "Just about." A slight pause, and then, "I was hoping to speak with you concerning your recent research into the bugger wars."

Again, Alex felt confused, and now eyed the terminal cautiously. She had always suspected that the I.F. was watching her every action, but assumed that she wasn't the only one aboard who was interested in the bugger war, and the invasion videos.

"What about it?" she questioned simply, trying to etch away the suspicion seeping in every word.

For a minute, Graff's face remained animated, as if he was pausing in thought of how to best answer the statement. Then it froze, as Alex had expected. This time, the wait was longer than usual, as if Graff were talking slowly. The terminal however, sent it over quicker than it must have been entered.

The animated head, smile having slipped away now, replied, "There is nothing resting in the videos that has not already been available as common knowledge."

"What about the buggers? The ships? They were already dead."

This time, when the response came back, Alex was irritated to find that Graff had ignored her questions completely, saying in a flat, monotone voice, "Alex, you are best to stay away from the matters of the bugger war. You are on a one way trip. Enjoy it while you can."

Before Alex could do more than open her mouth, Graff's head flickered, folded into miniscule cubes, and disappeared. The display of her desktop came back up, and the connection was lost as the IVS shut down. The reassurance had gone, and now Alex sat numbly on her bed with new, worrisome thoughts. Graff's last entry sounded like a warning, and Alex wondered what he was hiding.

There was _definitely _something the I.F. wasn't telling the public, and there _had _to be scenes missing from the videos. But then again, what did it matter? The buggers were trying to destroy Earth. It was either them, or humanity. Everything in life came down to survival.

But what about _after _the buggers were gone? Would there still be an International Fleet? A Battle School? What if _other _alien species came to Earth? Would they _really _rely on children once again, to fight?

_Ender_, Alex thought grimly. The Third she knew, was in for a rough haul, and Graff intended to pull Ender as far as long as he could, until the boy decided to stand and walk on his own feet towards his destiny as a commander.

Alex felt like she had to give some sort of warning or comfort message to the kid, to let him know that he wasn't alone in this. However, Graff would surely intervene in the matter. If Alex learned _anything _about her studies when it came to Ender, it was that he was prone to violence and though easily manipulated, fought against those controlling him. He was playing the part of the jester in court, pleasing others at their will, but remaining in control of how he did so.

_He plays the game, but bends the rules_, Alex realized, giving a slow nod to her terminal, as if bouncing ideas off of it. Rat Army…

Bringing up the internet, Alex attempted to access the Battle School records again. She found though, to her great alarm, that her usual method had been warded off, and she received a warning message. Trembling hands hovering over the keyboard, Alex stared at the blinking words. Pressing a key closed the process entirely. For several minutes, Alex sat, leaning back against the wall with her desk resting pressed against her crossed knees.

Security had been strengthened once more, and this time, around _all _of Battle School's files. Was Graff testing her, or did he want her to stay out, now that she had passed some boundary line?

Deciding she didn't care anymore, Alex hunched herself forward, and tried a backdoor she hadn't used before. At first, she was denied access, so Alex used a backdoor for _that _backdoor. Sure enough, folders she sought popped up, and no alert or warning message came with them.

Relieving a deep breath, Alex knew that her access to Ender's files was probably restricted. Graff hadn't wanted her in Battle School files at _all_. Any message she sent Ender's way would surely be picked up and deleted automatically. But would Graff bother checking messages to all the _other _students as well?

_Not unless he has a lot of free time_, Alex told herself, a sly smirk spreading over her face. Someone would have to filter through every message sent, and then depict their significance or threat, if any.

Picking through the list of members in Rat Army, Alex scanned through their files without a problem. One file though, caught her eye especially. The boy's name was Dink Meeker, and though he was of rightful age, he had never been labeled as a commander of an army in Battle School. His stats and evaluations were exceptionally good.

Alex wondered if Meeker merely just refused to give in to Graff's control. It was then that Alex realized that Graff had only been amusing her. He had given her the freedom to hack into the files, and then had rejected her harshly, probably suspecting that Alex's disability ran beyond her reaction timing.

_Well, you're wrong Graff_, Alex thought defiantly. Bringing up Meeker's desk, she paused with her fingers in mid-stroke, debating on what to say. She wanted Meeker to warn Ender. From the recent files she read, Graff was planning on making Ender a commander of an army, and putting the odds against him. They were planning on pushing Ender beyond the limits they should.

Alex was hoping that _someone _would be able to aid Ender through the mess soon to come, but her message had to be discreet, and yet clear. Graff watched everything the kids in Battle School did. There was little he could do once things were set into motion.

Finally deciding on a simple message, Alex sent to Meeker's desktop:

-

WATCH THE SCORES

-

Alex hoped that would be hint enough for now. When time came, she would send a second part to the message to clarify what she meant. Accessing Ender's score sheet, she saw that he had dropped in the standings, but his shots and activity had improved. Had Ender gave in to Graff's games?

Ender hadn't played the Fantasy Game in a while, and no matter what she did, Alex couldn't gain access to the 'End of the World' room. She had finally come across the Giant, and found that no matter what she chose, her figure died from the drink. After the third time this happened, Alex decided she would have to take a different approach. She tried reasoning with the Giant, but the creature just laughed and slammed his fist dangerously close to her mouse, demanding she choose.

Alex hadn't wanted to take the '_Ender Wiggin Approach_', but it seemed there was no other way. In a fit of rage uncommon to her, Alex sent her figure into the Giant's large, open mouth as he released his harsh, taunting laughter, and bit down hard on his tongue. The Giant shifted and roared in his chair until he fell back, and clunked his head. Then he was still, and Alex was able to crawl out of his mouth safely. The Giant had bothered her since. Every time she returned to the hilltop, the Giant had decayed a little more since the last time.

The forest didn't emerge to a playground though, and no matter which direction she headed, Alex was brought back to the valley where her figure promptly turned into a snake. It was here that she closed the game down before even heading into the grass.

Deciding to give it a try though, since there was no apparent activity concerning the Wiggin boy to look into, Alex logged into the God account. She had noticed that it had remained unused, and yet open. It had been over a year, and it hadn't been shut down either. Had Graff set up the account to attract her attention? Did he keep it there for her?

Alex couldn't imagine why the Colonel would now, after he had closed her off from the files. Maybe he thought his little hacker wouldn't gain access again, and thus, hadn't bothered.

With a wry smirk as she pulled up the Fantasy Game, Alex thought, _Well Graff, I hope you're watching. So you can see that you're wrong._

Figure appearing at the hilltop, Alex ignored the gnomes there beginning to build a cavern of homes from the Giant's bone remains, and headed for the edge of the forest. As the screen faded in, her figure appeared as a snake - long and lithe. The grass towered before her in an ominous manner, and Alex hesitated before slipping her figure forward. Despite how long it had been since she played in this part of the game, Alex could still remember the feeling of being watched. A distant rustling alerted her to the dangers resting in the tall grass, but this time, she didn't pause. Her heart leapt to her throat as a mongoose went leaping past her figure, and into the shadows of the corner of her screen. It had passed the invisible barrier and was gone.

How long Alex spent in the field, maneuvering her way around through the stalks and avoiding the deathly pounces of her creature's mortal enemy, Alex didn't know. Eyelids growing heavy from watching the screen so intensely, she was about to call it quits and close the Fantasy Game when the stalks began to thin. Moments later, she had appeared on the other side of the valley. There was a few more feet of thin grass until it gave way to barren, brown earth. The high cliffs of a mountainside offered solace as Alex watched her figure start to morph into the shape of a child. This time however, much to her shock, it was a girl, with long dark hair much like Alex's own.

Alex sat there for a few minutes, staring at the figure in puzzlement. The God account was genderless. Her figure had never taken the form of a girl before. The game offered no explanation of course, but instead seemed to have paused - as if waiting for Alex to make the first move.

Move the pawn forward, Alex thought to herself. It's like a game of chest, and I have only one piece, that can become any other.

Just as Alex began to slowly move her figure towards the rock wall, eyes straying to a cave further up on a ledge, the Fantasy Game minimized. It was a moment before the reason popped up in a separate, black window. The bar gave its identification as a serial number, and Alex recognized it immediately as Dink Meeker's. She had read his file enough to have most of his information memorized.

The message was simple and to the point; a branch-off of her own:

-

AS THEY DROP

-

Alex sat in bewilderment as she stared at the three simple words. How had this Meeker kid gained access to her computer? Thinking about it, Alex realized that he must have been replying to the God account, which she was still logged into. Thus, the message had been sent her way.

This passed a smile of amusement over the girl's weary features. Her hands hovered in anticipation over the keyboard, as she waited for her mind to think of something clever to say. Once again, she was fully aware that Graff would be able to read anything that she sent towards Meeker, and could easily put an end to their interaction by closing the God account. Alex could try and make a new account disguised as a student, but she was sure that would be quickly shut down as well.

Finally deciding on what she would say, Alex sent back:

-

AND OUR HOPES DROP WITH THEM

-

Sitting back, Alex imagined that the response would take awhile. She sat, twiddling her thumbs and highlighting the text, enlarging it so that she couldn't read it anymore on the display, or making it so small it was a dot.

Growing impatient as her hands quivered in expectancy and the greedy want to send another message to this outside source, Alex forced herself from her bed. She would find some task to distract herself that didn't involve her desk. The Meeker kid might not reply at all, and sitting to wait for him wasn't going to change the probability of that likelihood. She rested it on her lockers' top, and sent it into hibernation. New activity would awaken it.

_He probably thinks it's just another student from Battle School_, Alex realized as she walked out of her room and entered the living space.

Ewout and Catherina were seated in the kitchen, and Alex walked to stand where she could observe their actions. Ewout was resting at the white table, bent with an absorbed stare over his desk as his wife set about preparing their third meal from the rations they had been given. Neither looked up from their actions to even greet the lonely child standing with a glint of hope in her eyes.

But that light quickly flickered and died when Alex realized they weren't going to even greet her. Everyone aboard the ship had grown accustom to each other's company, and to seeing the same faces every day. In the small space of the ship, it was sometimes almost too much to bear, and the crew was prone to arguments and breakdowns.

_That's why we have Ms. Pewter_, Alex thought with a nod as she headed for the doorway. Stepping into the hallway, she gave a low, dry chuckle as she wondered how the crew aboard the ship would be fairing without a therapist. Ms. Pewter was training a man in his forties - also born aboard their craft - to take her place in a year or so. This Alex saw, as a good thing. It meant that the emotional crap she had sent Ms. Pewter's way, could be repeated - thanks to client-privilege - and Alex could continue with her secret affairs without fear.

Deciding to head for the game room, Alex felt like being challenged. She hadn't played since Ender had been emitted into Salamander Army, and now she was curious to see how the Battleship simulator reacted to her presence this time. Alex had tested the other games, but they didn't hold any surprises for her.

Garret said that the Battleship simulator was running fine. Alex had reported the Salamander incident, and the technician gave the same report.

_Maybe it will be a rat styled ship this time_, Alex thought with a snort. She had asked Garret if there were reports from any other of the other crewmembers, but the answer to everything remained a skeptical 'no'. Alex stopped asking from there on. The simulation could be reaching into my conscience, the girl considered as she approached the large machine, resting forebodingly in the back of the room - larger than the other game set ups. Stepping onto the lift, Alex shifted slightly as the it raised itself the six inches to accommodate her height.

But how _could _the game pick up on her brain waves? And why only now? Why not with everyone else?

The answers to these questions, Alex was sure she would probably never be told. This hadn't started happening until she began her research on Ender Wiggin. Had Graff done this in an attempt to push her limits? Or was it a backdoor to send her a message that the I.F. couldn't read?

_I can't ask him now_, Alex realized with a light grimace as she shifted through the array of player ships, without really looking at any of them. _He has already attempted to shut me out._

Picking a bulky, strong shooter, Alex thought it was probably best for her reaction timing. This ship's frame was built to take several hard hits before it crashed. Alex assumed it was her best chance of survival against whatever the simulator threw at her.

The image that appeared startled Alex to the point where she almost fell back off the lift. A straying hand caught the rail though, and held her firmly. The ship that appeared before her was a mix between an ant and a praying mantis. Alex recognized it immediately from the visuals in all the old videos, as a bugger. At first, she thought she just needed sleep, but as the moments passed and the ship continued to hover in wait, Alex concluded the simulator hadn't made a mistake, and her own exhaustion didn't play a factor here.

Placing her stray foot back into place, Alex watched as the ship steadily began to power up, beams of light forming at its antennas' tips. Knowing that the hit would be devastating, Alex began to slowly shift her ship in hopes to reduce some of the damage, while charging herself. She didn't know how long the bugger would take to finish its preparation, and it already had a head start. Alex had barely moved her ship more than two grid squares before the bugger's antennas grew brighter. A moment later, two bright beams spread and shot towards her. At the same time, Alex released her own half charge, knowing that her ship's firing equipment could be destroyed from this attack. She would at least go down knowing that the simulated bugger ship would have been brutalized as well.

The area was illumined in a bright, white glow that made Alex raise her arms to shield her eyes. Though she couldn't see, the girl knew her ship was being broken down as easily as a chain of paper links - burning to nothing. The steady rhythm of her ship's parts being incinerated sent a series of painful pricks down her throat, as if she were swallowing small glass fragments.

When the light dimmed and she could lower her arms, Alex was disheartened, but not surprised, to find no remains of her ship. There _was _a small satisfaction however, in discovering that the enemy ship was half gone itself.

Deciding that she had had enough, Alex stepped back off the lift. This time, the Battleship simulator seemed to agree that it was enough, and shut down.

Returning to her room, Alex's thoughts were filled with sleep and possible dreams. Maybe there she would find some answers. Her parents were caught in a staff meeting concerning their course and steady approach to the bugger world. There would be an asteroid belt to maneuver around carefully without drawing too much attention to themselves. Their chosen course would lead the rest of the fleet into bugger territory. They couldn't afford any mistakes that could result in damaged parts, or losses.

_Some of the best minds at work won't stop the buggers from attacking us_, Alex noted as she entered the living room, and made her way towards her own personal space. _Once they spot us, that's it. Commander or no commander - Ender or no Ender - the battle begins_ then.

Flopping down onto her comforters with a soft sigh, Alex enjoyed their soft caress in a way she had never felt towards a comforting arm. Her blankets acted as a replacement for her father's closure, and her mother's lack of patience and time. Here, Alex rested wearily, with the feeling that things would turn out right, as long as she awoke to live another day.

The darkness her eyelids provided was pierced by a sharp, consistent flash. Eyes struggling against the disturbance, Alex opened one and then the other to peer at the source. Her desk rested on her locker, acting as the source of the light flashes. Sitting up and rubbing at her eyes, Alex peered at the darkened screen, and a box that had appeared in one corner of her desktop.

Standing and retrieving the bulky form, Alex sat back down and rested it on her lap as she leaned back against the wall. The source drove all thoughts of slumber and peaceful dreams from the girl's mind. The message had been sent from Dink Meeker's terminal.

It read thus:

-

ACCIDENTAL COLLISION IN NULL G

-

This message thoroughly confused Alex, and she sat back to contemplate why Meeker would send her it. She recognized the wording from the results of a Launch incident when Ender was on his way to Battle School. He had broken a kid's arm, and went unpunished for it. Did Meeker understand her last message? Did this have something to do with Ender?

_Null G_, Alex thought, drumming her fingers slowly one by one on her terminal.

"Okay, Dink," Alex muttered as she sat forward. "Let's see what you're trying to tell me, huh…"

Doing a search for recent files emitted in the Battle School records, revealed incident reports. Picking through them until she found those labeled under 'Null G', Alex read the brief:

-

Incident within Null G Battleroom resulted in few injuries. Battleroom malfunction.

-

This brought a sweep of confusion. Why would Meeker send her this? Was it possible that he hadn't understood what she meant? Scanning the list of causalities and the injuries as a result in separate, medical files, Alex knew there was something more here than what the incident file reported. There were reports of damaged ears, legs, shoulders, and even a broken nose. What could have caused that?

_Ender._

The single thought that came, slapped Alex hard, like the first cold exhaust around her ankles, of the day as she entered an anti-gravity hallway. Meeker had sent her the message because there hadn't been no 'accident' in the room, but an assault. _Ender _had caused these injuries. But why?

From what Alex knew, she could already discard the thought that Ender went searching for a fight. Just from watching him play the Fantasy Game, Alex knew that Ender was an explorer, and resorted to violence only when necessary. The Giant's Drink was perfect proof of this, and supported her theory strongly.

No…Ender had been _attacked_, and Meeker had sent her this message because he understood the trouble Ender was in. The children in Battle School were taught to be competitive - to strive to be the best. The first rule of survival was to kill anything that posed a threat to your own. The strong survive, and the weak perish. It was simple, and at the same time, a cruel and harsh reality.

Deciding to check in on Ender, hands shaking, Alex attempted to tap into the youth's desk. There was little resistance, and the girl wasn't surprised to find that he was busy playing the Fantasy Game. Ender used it as an escape from his present, and a distraction for his mind.

Alex watched Ender move his figure past the empty playground, through the forest, and into the well. He had a mission, and nothing would distract him from finding the answers in the End of the World. Together, they watched the snake unweave in the lone tower, and Alex's stomach curled as Ender slammed his foot onto the snake's head, crushing the skull. It resembled so much like her own figure, that it was if Ender was killing her figure, and not just a snake.

The serpent twisted beneath his foot uselessly, being pushed further into cold stone. He picked it up and shook it, then turned and carried it, attempting to find a way safely out of the tower. Ender must have been just as shocked as Alex, when he found something else, because his figure took no action.

In a large mirror inlaid into the wall, was the sniveling face of Ender's older brother, Peter. Despite the fact that Alex hadn't checked on the other Wiggin children in months, she recognized him immediately. Blood seeped down Peter's chin like rum from a drunken mouth, and a snake tail emerged from a corner of his wide, straining mouth. In his eyes flashed a dangerousness that unnerved Alex, and made her want to shut her desk down.

There was a cascading of the image that thoroughly confused the girl. When minutes passed and nothing happened, Alex assumed that Ender had abandoned his desk altogether. However, as she straightened and rested a finger over the power button, she was startled to see Ender thrust the dead snake into the mirror, breaking the glass. Behind the mirror rested a dark hole, but before the boy's figure could do anything, a countless number of mini serpents writhed their way free. Together, they nibbled and chewed away at Ender's figure until it collapsed in a dying heap.

The words, 'Play Again?' appeared on Ender's screen, and thus on Alex's. Ender must have shut his desk down, because the window closed altogether. When nothing more happened for a few minutes, Alex rested back with a sigh, trying to relax her shaking limbs.

She must have drifted off, because there was a sharp strike of light to her eyes - this time brighter. With each flare, a headache began to grow stronger in the back of her head. Opening her eyes, Alex saw that Meeker had sent her another message. She was tempted to close her desk, and wait until after she had slept, before answering.

However, Alex knew that it must have concerned Ender, and thus, she decided she would read and reply, and _then _head to sleep.

It read:

-

HE'S WAITING…THEY'RE NOT

-

Was Meeker talking about Ender? Or Graff?

Reading it again, Alex was sure that 'he' was Ender. 'They' must have been Graff, and those running Battle School. What was Ender waiting for? A sign? Thinking back to the conversations between Graff and Anderson, Alex thought to how they were trying to rush Ender because of how short a time was left.

Nodding slowly, Alex decided that that must have been what Meeker was talking about. Graff was putting the pressure onto Ender now, and Alex knew, that the Wiggin child would take it, but he would also break. There would come a time, when Ender Wiggin would say enough, and then Graff's ploys, Earth's hope, Alex's research, and this seventy year trip…were going to amount to nothing.


End file.
